Frosty Stuff

 3 Border Kitty™ is now in Khasan, Russia, a bland little town of a few hundred lost souls that borders North Korea and China . Given cats' tendencies to wander, 3 Border Kitty™ will stumble into one of the following three scenarios: 1. Crossing into North Korea: Crossing this border is illegal and guards have been ordered to shoot on sight. 3 Border Kitty™ may fall in with people smugglers, who still operate in the region, but their real expertise is getting people OUT of North Korea, not IN, so they won't be able to help. Nine lives won't be enough to save it from the ever-vigilant border guards. 2. Crossing into China: The North Korean government exports copious amounts of crystal meth and opiates into China. Meth and fentanyl are profitable even in small quantities, so 3 Border Kitty™ will probably be tasked with involuntary transporting small drug balloons in its stomach. In other words, 3 Border Kitty™ should avoid sudden movements or kimchi, both of which are, let...

 Although this looks like a mercy killing similar to drowning Kaspian Kitty ™ , Toxic Waste Tabby ™  will in fact suffer a slow, lingering death as a result of the desertification of the Aral Sea.  Soviet water policy mandated the diversion of Central Asian rivers from the Aral Sea to cotton fields, where citizens (including children) were forced to grow that cash crop. Over time, the result was this: The former sea bed is now a toxic wasteland, spreading a cornucopia of deadly "forever chemicals" for hundreds of miles whenever there is a dust storm.  But wait, that's not all! Toxic Waste Tabby ™  also faces the low probability but high hazard threat of dying from a Soviet bio weapon! Before the Aral Sea shrank, the eerily named Resurrection Island housed the Soviet Union's leading bio weapons lab, where scientists weaponized smallpox, anthrax and even that OG death spreader, The Bubonic Plague. That island is now very much part of the dusty plains, likely accou...