Frosty Stuff

 3 Border Kitty™ is now in Khasan, Russia, a bland little town of a few hundred lost souls that borders North Korea and China . Given cats' tendencies to wander, 3 Border Kitty™ will stumble into one of the following three scenarios: 1. Crossing into North Korea: Crossing this border is illegal and guards have been ordered to shoot on sight. 3 Border Kitty™ may fall in with people smugglers, who still operate in the region, but their real expertise is getting people OUT of North Korea, not IN, so they won't be able to help. Nine lives won't be enough to save it from the ever-vigilant border guards. 2. Crossing into China: The North Korean government exports copious amounts of crystal meth and opiates into China. Meth and fentanyl are profitable even in small quantities, so 3 Border Kitty™ will probably be tasked with involuntary transporting small drug balloons in its stomach. In other words, 3 Border Kitty™ should avoid sudden movements or kimchi, both of which are, let...

 Although this looks like a mercy killing similar to drowning Kaspian Kitty ™ , Toxic Waste Tabby ™  will in fact suffer a slow, lingering death as a result of the desertification of the Aral Sea.  Soviet water policy mandated the diversion of Central Asian rivers from the Aral Sea to cotton fields, where citizens (including children) were forced to grow that cash crop. Over time, the result was this: The former sea bed is now a toxic wasteland, spreading a cornucopia of deadly "forever chemicals" for hundreds of miles whenever there is a dust storm.  But wait, that's not all! Toxic Waste Tabby ™  also faces the low probability but high hazard threat of dying from a Soviet bio weapon! Before the Aral Sea shrank, the eerily named Resurrection Island housed the Soviet Union's leading bio weapons lab, where scientists weaponized smallpox, anthrax and even that OG death spreader, The Bubonic Plague. That island is now very much part of the dusty plains, likely accou...

“Sir, Your Highness should know how our Kingdom is being lost in so many ways that it is convenient to provide for the necessary remedy, since this is caused by the excessive freedom given by your agents and officials to the men and merchants who are allowed to come to this kingdom to set up shops with goods and many things which have been prohibited by us, and which they spread through our Kingdoms and Domains in such an abundance that many of our vassals, whom we had in obedience, do not comply because they have the things in greater abundance than we ourselves; and it was with these things that we had them content and subjected under our vassalage and jurisdiction, so it is doing a great harm not only to the service of God, but the security and peace of our Kingdoms and State as well.  And we cannot reckon how great the damage is, since the mentioned merchants are taking every day our natives, sons of the land and the sons of our noblemen and vassals and our relatives, because t...

Brethren and Fellow Citizens:—Your brethren of the North, East, and West have been accustomed to meet together in National Conventions, to sympathize with each other, and to weep over your unhappy condition. In these meetings we have addressed all classes of the free, but we have never, until this time, sent a word of consolation and advice to you. We have been contented in sitting still and mourning over your sorrows, earnestly hoping that before this day your sacred liberty would have been restored. But, we have hoped in vain. Years have rolled on, and tens of thousands have been borne on streams of blood and tears, to the shores of eternity. While you have been oppressed, we have also been partakers with you; nor can we be free while you are enslaved. We, therefore, write to you as being bound with you. Many of you are bound to us, not only by the ties of a common humanity, but we are connected by the more tender relations of parents, wives, husbands, children, brothers, and sisters...

Selection from “Article I: Our Wretchedness in Consequence of Slavery” But let us review Mr. Jefferson's remarks respecting us some further. Comparing our miserable fathers, with the learned philosophers of Greece, he says: "Yet notwithstanding these and other discouraging circumstances among the Romans, their slaves were often their rarest artists. They excelled too, in science, insomuch as to be usually employed as tutors to their master's children; Epictetus, Terence and Phædrus, were slaves,--but they were of the race of whites. It is not their condition then, but nature, which has produced the distinction." See this, my brethren!! Do you believe that this assertion is swallowed by millions of the whites? Do you know that Mr. Jefferson was one of as great characters as ever lived among the whites? See his writings for the world, and public labors for the United States of America. Do you believe that the assertions of such a man, will pass away into oblivion unobse...